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Everyone Wants Microsoft’s Windows 95 Ugly Sweater

December 18, 2018 | Joseph Myers

Ugly sweaters have become the fashion equivalent of the Kardashians—we know we should look away, but something causes us to become fixated on them. Ugly sweaters seem to symbolize permanence, as it does not appear they will ever become a worn-out topic. As end-users become even merrier and brighter as December unfolds, Microsoft is spreading cheer to a few fortunate followers through its Windows 95 ugly sweater, a true eyesore that, nonetheless, is proving a coveted marker of the holiday season.

We offer kudos to Microsoft for being on top of its pun game yesterday, as it took to Twitter to announce the limited-edition “softwear,” with the tweet having drawn 31,000 “likes” and more than 8,500 retweets. Everyone knows this time of year can end up being a period of frivolous spending, and while we presume that consumers would love to part with some cash to be able to slip this sweater over their smiling faces, the technology bigwig is not selling them, instead choosing to send direct messages to random winners.

Business Insider has presumed that anyone who follows Windows on the social media platform is eligible to emerge victorious, and since 6.2 million such individuals have that designation, Microsoft might soon find itself contemplating the mass marketing of the sweater, given the reactions to the giveaway garment. Everybody wants one!

Since everyone stands a better chance at claiming an ugly sweater than they do of hitting the lottery, nostalgia-hooked consumers should be hoping that Microsoft, which made Windows 95 the first element of its Windows 9x family of operating systems, does not give them the cold shoulder and instead decides to provide a warm, albeit garish, addition to their wardrobes. Now that our words have become as damning to our chances at winning as a moth’s appetite is to a sweater, here’s hoping that someone we know claims one of these, as we could really use a belly laugh that could rival anything that Santa Claus could produce.

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